everything and nothing

.Wednesday, January 28 ♥

Confessions Confessions

i have a lot to confess abt myself tonite.
i was talking to a dear friend of mine
and suddenly felt to write this.
hmm... but i dun know where to begin
i have too much to confess that i haven't any clue what to start with.
ok... let's see, i'll start innocently,
i'm really actually just human..
i fart(though not loudly), i dig my nose, i burp(very loudly at home)
okok.. these are very superficial...

My most serious offense would be that i'm terribly $$$-minded.
I love money... and i dun like feeling poor at all...
if you ask wat i look for in a guy, my first answer would be $$$.
and if you ask me to choose between money and love, i would choose $$$.
but i'm pleased to be this way, because i can do almost anything.
$$$ replaces love or yearning. And maybe money can't buy happiness
but still it gives a portion(maybe huge or small, depending on urself, in my case LARGE) of happiness.. and anything u say will be a waste of ur own saliva! hehe...
you can say i'm in love with $$$ itself.

second biggest offense is that i lie pretty good...
and i dun seem to be sorry for being like this.
hmm... i know i'm going to get in trouble someday
but i really dun care much (well, i do care a little tiny winy bit)
but i can't believe there is one person who's been honest all his/her life
sounds like a prophet or saint... too perfect
and perfect is not a word you'll use to described a person like me

third..(gosh i think i can go all night if i were to continue)
i'm a total hypocrite. i say things and i do things differently.
well... i noe i'm a hypocrite at least.. not like other people who goes all defensive when being called one... i dun care what people think of me... well, actually in all truth, i'm just tired of caring. Once upon a time, i did care... too much. now i care for nothing... or too little.

all these flaws, i dun mind them one bit...
i think myself cleverer than most, i tink myself superior...
and i dun care abt anything they might say abt me...
i gave up caring... it's too hard to care when they dun
some people said i was too candid too blunt too everything
and they hated me because i'm that way..
i've heard lots of things.. and it's not hurting me because i dun allow it to.
i love myself more with each word that was meant to prick.
Because they dun give me love, i give myself more love.
Which results in another flaw of mine, i love myself a lot
that i dun have enough for other people, well, except for my family.
they're the only other persons i love very much beside myself.
Perhaps i will find someone who would love me and make me love him
but i haven't found one... i dun noe that i'll find one who'll love me as me.
love me for all my flaws because it's me. It's me being me....

♥♥ @ 1/28/2009 11:25:00 pm

.Tuesday, January 6 ♥

more pics coming up...

wow... amazing how different i can look.
do you think i should wear contacts permanently?

look better with specs? Or lens?

Hmm.... can't decide. wear both then!!! hahahhahaha..

♥♥ @ 1/06/2009 08:43:00 am

. ♥

This is me with specs.

And below is me with contacts...

See any different??
i rather thought that i looked kinda good actually!
hehe... please i need your gracious comment. Be it good or bad, all are welcome!

♥♥ @ 1/06/2009 08:33:00 am

.Monday, January 5 ♥

New year.. New Me?

nah....
hahahaha...
i like myself as i am now.
no in truth, i LOVE myself!
the glutton who eats alot and sloppy.
well, i don't mind being that way really...
oh oh oh... well, there is something new i tried this year.
i wore contacts!
oh how i wish i could upload the pics i took with my contacts on.

i promise later... maybe in the evening, oh, i found that i looked
really different and freshing with the new look of mine.
though i will not be wearing them often,
i'm pretty sure i'll look dazzling everytime i wear!
haha, praising myself again. gosh, i've became vain this few years.
well, a gurl will always wanna look good no matter what she said previously
i could laugh when i thought how naive i was back then.
"I don't need make-up, too troublesome."
Gosh, that thoughts were hilarious. Not that i think it's not
troublesome anymore, but hey, i don't complain much abt it.

oh, ya. I actually spent the last few days of last year with Robin and Francine.
wow, imagine that. meeting up with old schoolmates, i thought i would never see them again
but hey i did. does this means that i will meet with more soon?!
i hope so. cause i miss almost everyone i knew and liked back in high school.
Gosh! and i started to take up sports activities
got myself healthy gradually. must be the effect of learning to be a nurse.
but guess what i still can't believe i'm gonna be a nurse soon.
Think of all the lives i'm gonna be handling. That thought is enough
to render me speechless and my knees buckling.(*shudders*)
i need to get more confident and courage...

*shakehead* that aside, i need to get all this stress out!
it's toiling my body. I need to spoil myself at least.
need out for a moment!
i wanna bring bercinda out but she's not yet...
how do i say this... she's unavailable yet.
(gosh how long will she be that way)
miss her, wanna see her too much.
want to hang out like old days.
ya, maybe i should go somewhere with someone.
Yana? but she seems busy with school(not that i'm not, just.. i want out for abit..)
and i don't want to disturb her.. mas, well, she's her own life.
who else can i ask out for abit of fun? or who is fun to go out with?
maybe i should get someone "special" this year.
mas said she's gonna be wild and flirt with almost any guy who comes her way..
should i do that as well? hmm.. NOPE!! can't pulled that off.
she's pretty, guys are attracted to her.
i'm.. well, though i'm unique, but i'm too common a face!
guys don't get attracted to plain common face!

okok... i'm starting to sound pathetic..
what the heck. who needs a guy anyway?
to hell with them! i don't need them!
i'm fine by my own! besides, i don't go for just any Joe or Ben,
i'm a fine woman with finer taste and expectations!

THAT's it! my new year fav qoute!

Fine woman with finer taste and expectations.
Woman of Quality!
That'e Me! yes!
People, watch out!
2009 is gonna be conquered by ME!

♥♥ @ 1/05/2009 03:45:00 pm